A whole can of olives, like a goddamn lady.

I don’t know when along my life’s journey I forgot about olives, but I did, and now I didn’t! Olives are back and ooh what a glorious development.

Oh oh yes I do know. When the olives love their magic. It was during this points-based weight loss program.. probably my early 20s.. and olives had high points for poor nutritional value.. I remember the phrase “empty calories”.. of course alcohol calories were also “empty” but those points were unavoidable, obv.

So I kept the food points as low as possible- lots of zero-points veggie stew- using most daily points for cocktails on an empty stomach. I was starving myself, basically. Actually now that I think of it… I eventually gave up on that program because it became practically impossible to ignore my problematic drinking.

Ignoring the problem was way more important than points. The “problem” needed to be ignored so it could become so very deeply entwined, uncomfortably strong, needing more and more to be satiated lest it become very angry and very obvious. Problematic, indeed. It wasn’t even close to as bad as it was going to get, yet. But it was already too late for the olive… for a very long time.

But NOW I put an olive on every finger, again. Like I always swore I would do when I was a kid, frustrated at all the rules about how to behave and not behave. I couldn’t wait to be a grown up and eat my food how I wanted.

WITH MY HANDS.

Like a goddamn lady, because I am a lady and this here be a true story ramble.